‘Hmm, that’s odd,’ thought UQLS presidential candidate, Alex Campion, blissfully unaware that his resemblance to Ron Burgundy was responsible for the disappearance of his eighth member of staff this week.
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Excellent experience, great people-skills, and a clear policy agenda, but there’s just one thing wrong with Alex Campion’s run for the top job: the thin, crusty mo that warmly presses against his upper lip.
That was the desperate message that another member of Campion’s campaign staff tried to deliver to the fourth year Laws/Arts student late yesterday evening, but to no avail.
‘I just need to get a head start on Movember, haha,’ joked Campion to our reporters, ironically unaware of the disastrous mental health impacts that his facial hair was having on those closest to him.
In under a week, voters will find out who will hold the keys to the UQLS Presidential Palace, and some are saying that only one razor stands between Campion and the ultimate prize.
More to come.