The Bureau of Meteorology has this morning issued a statement explaining that Cyclone Oma has been downgraded to a Category 1 storm and is unlikely to impact the Queensland coast to the extent the department initially believed.

However, the collective sigh of relief came with a caveat: this bitch cray.

’Yes, Cyclone Oma has led us to believe she is not going to cause a scene,’ meteorologist Susan Rain told The Obiter.

‘But keep in mind, she loves this shit. It’s very on-brand for Oma to act all cool and then turn up and just go fucking bananas.’

The manipulative games of Oma are something BoM feared from the outset.

‘Oooh, Category 1, she’s sweet – no. She is still completely pyscho and could turn at any minute.’

Oma has been described by weather experts across the nation as ‘high maintenance’ and ‘an attention-seeker.’

One weather-woman, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of windy retribution, disclosed to The Obiter that Oma, ‘will probably head to the beach and get heaps of photos taken of her before heading back to town and just making an absolute fucking mess of my weekend.’

’Bitch.’

BoM have advised Queenslanders to avoid the crazy eye of the storm this weekend.

More to come.