Call a Royal Commission into the Political Correctness Police because they’ve well and truly gone mad! In shocking, disappointing, disgusting news coming out of primary schools today, the PC-government-bureaucratic clowns have decided to pull a classic piece of literature from the shelves of the schools, with some even plucking this iconic children’s book from the grubby fingers of Year 3 students.
Dr. Seuss’ wonderful, whimsical tale of masturbation, “The Meat I Beat,” was unceremoniously declared as ‘inappropriate’ and dumped from the Year 3 curriculum. We wonder if the government can even remember their childhood, with the fine Doctor Theodore Seuss encouraging us to masturbate, or are they all just robots?
Riddle me that, bureaucrat!
Or should I say, bureauCAT. Because you’re all a bunch of scaredy-cats, afraid for seven-year olds to learn something natural and beautiful from the pen of a 62-year old man with a penchant for rhyme.
In protest, The Obiter have elected to print the text of “The Meat I Beat” in full. If you’re with your kids, let them read this, as it was and should be an important cornerstone of youth education.
“It was a boring day,
All rain, no sun,
I had nothing to do,
No friends, no fun,
Then I thought of meat,
The meat I eat,
But then I thought, wait!
There’s meat I beat,
It’s good meat, nice meat,
Blue meat, red meat,
I will beat, I must beat,
The meat I beat,
I laid down on,
Our blue-ish rug,
And then I went,
To give it a tug,
I was very glad,
And not at all ashamed,
So I stood up,
And went on with my day,
It was very fun,
And like Darren Lehmann,
Was the coach of Australia,
I am the master of my semen.”