In fortunate news for law students at the University of Queensland, and wankers all across the land, the UQLS has announced a little bonus for anyone who elects to purchase a UQ Law Hoodie across this coming month.
No-one will be able to accuse the UQLS of being stingy stinges after it has been revealed that each UQ Law hoodie sold will come with a free sense of entitlement.
Whilst raw, unbridled arrogance and obnoxiousness will cost an extra $20, the air of entitlement will cost punters the princely sum of $0.
Students will have the option to turn down the sense of entitlement, and instead opt for a weird excess of humility to the point where it almost seems like you’re bragging again.
This strange humility will manifest in statements such as ‘I’m studying Law so I can go to the UN and make a difference in the lives of Nigerian telecommunications experts who are trapped in New Zealand, working for wool. I guess I just want to put my talents to use for someone else. It would be so selfish if I dared earn an income for myself, or admitted to myself that I probably chose Law because the money’s pretty alright.’
The free sense of entitlement policy was decided after months of deliberation by the UQLS Management Committee, and after multiple filibusters from the Assistant Under-Secretary to the VP of Sub-Executive Marketing & Communications Direction, the policy passed. It has been celebrated by students across the faculty, although many point out that they will be rich soon, so stuff being free doesn’t carry quite the same weight.
‘I mean, I’ll be earning $100k my second year out of uni, so it’s not like money will be any object,’ said Brett Thistlethwaite, a fifth-year Law student with an assured graduate position with his father’s boutique commercial litigation practice, named ‘Waugh Richardson Blewett.’
‘But it’s so exciting that I won’t have to splurge on an air of condescension and entitlement this year. More money to spend on *not* cocaine!’
Dean Peter Parkinson’s misguided attempt to offer rosary beads with every hoodie was met with derision. He retreated to his Tiny House outside the Art Gallery to continue plotting ways to introduce God and Law for the first time ever.