Clerkship application season reached its epic conclusion today as the firms of Brisbane offered positions to a select range of law students.

One of those students was Aaron Houston. “You beauty!” Houston exclaimed after jumping off the phone with an HR representative of McArlington Adams Malterson Humphrey Deckart.

“Just scored a winter clerkship with McArlington Adams Malterson Humphrey Deckart,” Aaron told The Obiter.

“We know,” The Obiter replied. “That’s why we’re interviewing you.”

McArlington Adams Malterson Humphrey Deckart is one of Australia’s leading law firms, leading the industry in the areas of commercial, symmetrical and viable litigation.

“This is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Aaron opined, clearly unaware that he is a mere 7 years shy of a complete and irreversible mental breakdown borne out of unrelenting work expectations.

“McArlington Adams Malterson Humphrey Deckart fosters an inclusive community where being a balanced person is more important than performance,” continued Aaron, whose wife will take his three young children to her sister’s apartment at precisely 11:47pm 12 August 2025.

Aaron, who within 15 minutes of the call had updated his LinkedIn bio to “Summer Clerk-Elect”, remained confident that this was the first step in a long journey. True, but not as long of a journey as the bitter divorce he and his timid wife Michelle will endure due to his inability to leave the office before 10:30pm.

Despite the gruelling reputation of McArlington Adams Malterson Humphrey Deckart, Aaron is excited for 4-weeks of completely misrepresentative and misleading illusions of what firm life is like before being subjected to Grill’d-level wages and Me-too worthy harassment before a crescendo of stress and self-loathing causes him to collapse into a puddle of sad.

“This will be great!”

More to come from a disgruntled satirist who got too scared to apply for clerkships and is taking deflated sense of self out on those who actually did something productive.