Nervous fifth-year student and Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia, Malcolm Turnbull, has sensationally claimed that ‘too many students are studying law,’ making it harder for him to secure a clerkship in a competitive field. In an exclusive interview with The Obiter, the PM revealed he actively discouraged students from choosing to study law at university, unless a legal career was their dream.

When asked why, Mr. Turnbull muttered ‘applications due in a month… too many bloody people going for it… it shouldn’t be this [expletive deleted] hard for the Prime Minister to get a gig with a Big Six…!” Further questioning revealed Malcolm had barely written a cover letter, and he had set six iPhone reminders in the last four days, instructing him to “get cracking!”

During our interview, Mr. Turnbull was kind enough to offer further advice, suggesting law students should only submit clerkship applications if they ‘really really really really want it,’ and that there are ‘heaps of really good avenues towards legal careers that don’t involve clerkships.’ When asked if students should consider careers in academia, Malcolm began to nod furiously, exclaiming “yes, yes, yes” as spit flew from his lips.