Brisbane man Marcus Chen has a plan for “sweet, uncompromising vengeance” on his mates, The Obiter can report.

Chen was on the back foot earlier this month after all of his mates, or at least the ones he actually likes, all packed up and headed overseas for exchange.

After endless activity on the social mediums, his friends have made it pretty clear that their time travelling before exchange has been nothing short of drug-fuelled fuck odyssey.

But Marcus Chen has a plan. Circa Wednesday afternoon, as his mate Aaron was setting up a PO Box in Funtown (Dublin), Marcus decided he had no choice but to deploy the nuclear option.

“I’m just going to fucking go for it Friday,” Marcus announced to his legitimately empty office kitchen.

Marcus is going to strategically exhibit the Brisbane scene and show his smug mates that you don’t need to sit in the sky watching Ant-Man with subtitles for 24 hours in order to wake up on a street.

‘Fuck foundry is actually the best I’ve ever seen it, wish you were here.’ Chen plans to send to a group chat of friends who will have just woken up.

Marcus really is going to fucking have a big fat swing here - reports claim he is considering paying for The Met just to show that he’s always finding new Brisbane experiences. ‘I’m not going to be surprised if they’re on the first flight back to Retros.’

More to come.