It has been a tough day for touch football fans everywhere following the news that one of the game’s bona fide stars suffered a brutal setback this morning.

Dr Ryan Mullins has long been a fixture of the Touch and Touch Rugby League (TRL) communities. Known to exploit the mixed format by repeatedly burning girls on the wing for sick breakaway tries (legend), Mullins has amassed an incredible record of 445 tries in 432 games on the way to cementing himself as one of the game’s all time greats.

But fate knows nothing of greatness, as Mullins learned earlier this morning.

The thirty-five year old, who earns his keep as a UQ Contracts II lecturer, was going about his normal routine explaining misleading and deceptive conduct under the Australian Consumer Law during an 11am seminar. All seemed as it should, and Mullins’ footy boots (Mizuno Morelia Neo II’s) were sitting at the ready in his Nike duffel bag for a 7:40pm top of the table clash against Untouchables.

However, when some dickhead asked whether a horse could qualify as a consumer, it appears Dr Mullins quite simply lost the plot. The young academic flailed around wildly, screaming obscenities and the definition of consumer under s 3 of the Competition and Consumer Act 2010 (Cth) until he hit the ground, limbs sprawled and ACL torn to shreds.

Sadly, it appears that Dr Ryan Mullins will never play touch football again.

Mainly because he can no longer understand his statutorily provided rights and responsibilities with respect to his Monday night Kedron TRL contract after he tore up his copy of the Australian Consumer Law (ACL).

A tragedy of epic proportions.

No more to come.