In a first for The Obiter, we secured an interview with one of the finest judicial minds this country has to offer: The Honourable Murray Gleeson, AC, QC, ex-Chief Justice of the High Court, and the second-best Murray in Australian culture, just behind Murray Cook, lead guitarist of The Wiggles.
We went into the interview thinking we could discuss the law, jurisprudence, and Gleeson’s beliefs on the issues of the day, but it soon became apparent he only wanted to talk about one thing: people using him to get close to Eric Bana.
Our initial confusion at why this esteemed legal brain was so bitter about Eric Bana was somewhat clarified by Gleeson’s revelation that Bana was married to his daughter, Rachel Gleeson, thus making Bana his son-in-law. But as the interview continued, we realised what began as a legal discussion soon became a pretty personal discussion about the challenges of being used, the pain of feeling unwanted, and the trials and tribulations of being Murray Gleeson. Excerpts from the interview are transcribed below.
OB: So you’re saying that the bulk of the women who message you on Tinder are only doing so to get closer to Australia’s sweetheart, and our answer to Jeremy Renner, Eric Bana?
MG: That’s correct, yes. I can barely begin to count the number of dates that have ended in the realization that these romantic partners don’t want polite conversation and raucous, unhinged sex with one of Australia’s most accomplished judges - they just want to wake up in your bed the next morning, offer to make breakfast, and accidentally walk in to Rachel’s room where Eric is soundly asleep.
OB: Hang on, Rachel still lives with you?
MG: Oh, they all still live with me. Rachel, Eric, the kids… in fact, Rachel and Eric’s room is right next door!
OB: Have you thought that you could probably avoid this all if you just had your own place? I mean, there’s no way for someone to accidentally walk in on Eric Bana if he’s not there.
The following five minutes were considered to be off the record, but necessitate our formal apology to The Honourable Murray Gleeson for insinuating that this Eric Bana situation was easily fixable. Moving along.
OB: So, do you resent Eric at all?
MG: It’s honestly quite tricky… I’m extremely grateful to Eric for the way he’s treated Rachel, but by the same token, it’s made my life exceedingly difficult. And not just romantically - I’ll be at the pub, sipping on a pot of Gold, just trying to watch the rugby football, and some chirpy 40-year-old man will offer to buy me a beer. Of course, I’ll say yes, and we’ll strike up a great conversation, and agree to meet up for another beer next week. But all too often, as I’m leaving, he’ll yell out ‘...and bring Eric next week, yeah?’ It gets to you. It really, really gets to you.
OB: So, Muzza, do you have any strategies--
MG: And another thing about it! People keep being overly litigious because they think they’ll get to the High Court and be able to meet me, and thus, meet Eric Bana! I’m not even on the High Court anymore! It’s getting completely out of hand!
The rest of the interview delved so deeply into Gleeson’s personal life it is difficult to print here. We will be releasing a print version of the entire interview on savemurraygleeson.com.au, for the low price of $19.95.