Despite the fact the game is played by literally millions worldwide, a diehard Australian sports fan continues to deny soccer is the ‘world game,’ pointing instead to cricket, swimming, tennis, or any sport Australia has been remotely successful in.

For Michael Parsons (24), the FIFA World Cup is always a difficult time, as he endures hearing soccer constantly referred to as ‘the world game.’

He conveniently ignores the fact that 46% of the global population (billions of people) watched the 2014 World Cup, and that the game has become extremely popular in areas where more traditional Western sports, such as cricket or rugby, have floundered and/or died a slow, slow death.

At the end of the day, if Australia aren’t good at it, and Australia is the best sporting nation in the world, then soccer surely cannot be ‘the world game.’

Whenever Parsons raises this issue amongst his friends, their reactions range from apathetic to exasperated.

‘He does this every four years,’ griped Greg Yates (22), a friend of Parsons from youth. ‘It’s like he takes the world game label as a genuine insult - does he think they’re directing it specifically toward him?’

Eerily, Parsons isn’t even particularly passionate about any of the sports he cites as the true ‘world game.’ The bulk of his sporting attention is swallowed by the NBA, the NRL, and the horses. But nevertheless, for the man who has ‘GFP - Genuine Fucking Patriot’ on his LinkedIn bio, it is extremely important to him that soccer is not recognised as the global sport it, if we’re being honest, is.

All the best to the Soccyroos at the World Cup - kick goals, take names, and just enjoy yourselves. You’re certainly not there to win.