“I’m stunned. Pretty speechless I’ve got to say”.

No, these aren’t the words of some C-grade celebrity/game-show host giving an acceptance speech at the Logies, these are the words racing through the minds of every right-thinking person on the planet after Meghan Markle has given us the unbelievable scoop that a bunch of stupidly rich old white folk that have servants and live in a palace are probably racist.

In an EXPLOSIVE, SHOCKING, TELL-A-LITLLE-BIT interview with Oprah Winfrey, Meghan Markle has exposed how there were “conversations and conversation about how dark [her son Archie’s] skin might be” between Prince Harry and an unnamed member of the royal family.

While Nana and Pop have both denied that they were the one’s who raised these concerns, I’ll eat my shoe if they even remember what day of the fucking week it is. Christian Porter has already released a statement categorically denying involvement. Reports are that the Royals have planned to send in the charming, non-sweaty, defs non-pedo Prince Andrew to defend these allegations.

No more to come.