‘Guys SERIOUSLY I am literally having a panic attack over this!’ Sarah Margarine (19) exclaimed to her beloved group of Girls Grammar alum (‘18), fearing not even posting at prime time could save her latest DP from a sharp dip in likes if the right call wasn’t made.
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It’s that time of year: Mecca’s makeup application station is booked out and the spray tanned booths are fired up.
Sarah Margarine, like many, is stressing out about which over dry-cleaned Bec and Bridge number she’ll be hiring for the evening.
Most significantly, however, she’s barely keeping it together over which Queensland mansion will make the best backdrop in her new profile pic.
While her male classmates pretend they don’t care about their social media presence, she knows they’re bold faced liars - pick the the wrong mansion and their tinder profiles will go another year without any matches.
There are a few criteria that are objectively uncontroversial.
While homes below the river may be beautiful, Margarine hasn’t renewed her passport lately. Ascot is nice, but a little overdone. Anywhere near Rosalie and Margarine is at risk of drowning and (worst still) getting zero likes.
After much group chat deliberation, the matter was finalised: pres are to be held at Thomson Wyatt Sloan’s estate in Bardon.
Sarah isn’t a real fan of the joint or of Sloan (he may be hot, but he can’t make a charcuterie salami rose to save his life), but didn’t feel like going to war with the former TC and 3rd XV Terrace prop.
More first-world problems to come.