‘We also honestly couldn’t give a shit,’ advised Vice Deputy-Chancellor Professor Terry White, ‘just deal with it, ay’.

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It’s that time of semester. The bees are buzzing, the birds are chirping, and 82 hours worth of neglected lectures are desperately crying out for you to finally cast your eyes open them.

Amanda Brendale (21) is all too familiar with this reality.

The promise she made to herself at the start of the semester that this year ‘would be different’ has failed to come to fruition. Why is this you ask?

Perhaps it was the crushing reality that her edgy yet stoic barista wasn’t hopelessly in love with her (which became evident after he most recently asked: ‘same as usual, Erin?’), or maybe it was her recurring epiphany that she’d rather own a café at Surfers than sell her soul to some corporate behemoth. Who’s to know.

And if it wasn’t enough of an L season for Amanda, then yesterday’s realisation that the UQ administration had chopped this semester’s SWOTVAC in half really put the nail in the coffin.

In fairness to the humble suits who made the decision, the Airbnb down at Straddie that they’d booked for their end-of-sem-bender looked ‘pretty sick’ and didn’t offer refunds. So arms were tied if we’re being real.

When we reached out for further comment from the powers that be about this decision, they again reminded us why they get paid the big bucks: ‘Just study faster you flogs’.

Cheers.