“You’ve got to be kidding.”

These were the words first uttered by stunned US President and BAFE student, Donald Trump, upon learning of his allocated group assignment partner. The random allocation is set to rewrite the course of geo-campus politics.

Kim Jong-Un, the North Korean leader with whom President Trump has engaged in a war of words with, both over Twitter and Blackboard discussion boards, was equally agitated by his tutor’s decision to impose mandatory allocations for the upcoming group assignment, “Bitcoin: Friend, Foe, or Frenemy?”

“I don’t get why we can’t just choose our own partners,” Kim moaned to The Obiter on the Great Court. “I have heaps of good mates I could’ve worked with in that tute.”

“Like who?” we asked. “China, and, um, that bloke from school… China,” was Kim’s visibly uncomfortable response.

The pair have reportedly set a deadline of May to meet, and Merlo’s has been agreed upon as the location. In a statement released by the White House, it was revealed that Merlo’s was chosen because “...it’s very open. If it gets awkward or weird, we can just like comment on the birds or something.”

Trump would be the first sitting US president to meet with an assignment partner, a historic step the Commander-in-Chief does not want to take. “Can’t we just do this on Google Drive like normal people?”

Kim Jong-Un does not believe the chances of success are high. “I’m just going to end up doing everything,” the leader whispered under his breath, after the notably beige tutor pulled his name from a wool hat. “Trump leaves everything until the night before.”

At this time, tensions are reportedly running high. The President has listed the group members as “Donald J. Trump & the Little Rocket Man,” in the document header.