In the wake of Law Ball 2018, Jeremy Westin (21), a fourth-year Law student, boldly swore off UQLS events for good. In a post which he assumed would have enormous impact, he had stated publicly on his Facebook page ‘Law Ball #neveragain. Not enough beer, not enough good times. Fuck law events. I’m done.’

However, despite his stated position, it has come to our attention that Jeremy is absolutely fucking fuming he missed out on a Law Dinner ticket.

Whilst his friends were slightly more on the ball, snapping up a handful of tickets for themselves, slow Jeremy was not able to, and is now feeling just genuinely awful about himself.

‘It’s such bullshit,’ he told us, in an exclusive interview, that isn’t really ‘exclusive,’ it’s more just that we were the only people who were willing to listen.

‘Why did they sell out so quickly? I was literally 20 minutes late. I was so keen to go to Cloudland. Plus, the UQLS OWES me after Law Ball. My ticket should be FREE.’

Grumpy Jeremy, as he will henceforth be known, was last seen trying to convince his friends to go to Business Ball so he can feel like a part of something again.

If you have any room on your table of twelve for Law Dinner, whatever you do, no matter how he asks, you have to remember: don’t let Jeremy in.