In an exclusive interview, The Obiter sat down with that loud girl from the Law Library who, just seconds ago, said she hasn’t even had a chance to look at the 20% assignment due in one week.
THE OBITER: Loud girl from the Law Library who, just seconds ago, said she hasn’t even had a chance to look at the 20% assignment due in one week, thank you for speaking with us.
THAT LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: No problem! I probably shouldn’t chat for too long.
THE OBITER: Why’s that?
THAT LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: I just have to get started on that assignment due next week.
THE OBITER: Oh, the 20% one. Yeah should be fine.
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: Are you serious? When I first read it I was like “oh yeah this seems pretty straightforward.” But I’ve had a look into it and done some reading and I think there’s a lot more to it.
THE OBITER: Oh right. I mean it’s only 20% so shouldn’t be an issue.
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: Yeah but I’m fucked.
THE OBITER: You sound like you’ve had a look at it…
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: No, I’m seriously fucked.
THE OBITER: Yeah, I feel like you say this every time we have an…
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: No, like this time I am actually fucked. It took me like 2 and a half hours to get through a lecture the other day.
THE OBITER: I wouldn’t worry about…
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: Yeah I’m really worried about it. I need to get 10.5/20 to have any chance at getting a 6 for the subject.
THE OBITER: Mate you’re laughing.
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: No seriously it’s fucked. I emailed the course coordinator a few times to try get some clarity about the criteria sheet, which is just a fucking mess, but she hasn’t responded and it’s been like 45 minutes.
THE OBITER: Hey maybe keep it down I think the people at the next table are getting a bit annoyed.
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: Can you proofread my footnotes?
THE OBITER: I thought you hadn’t looked at it?
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: Oh, I haven’t I just wanted to get the footnotes done so that I can spend next week getting it under the word count.
THE OBITER: So you’ve written it?
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: Oh no I just like jotted out some basic ideas. I showed it to my partner at Malleys and she said it’s close to done, but close obviously means there’s a bit more to do on it and I’ve got a few readings to do between now and next week. And I’m also working a half day next Wednesday so that’s going to take a whole 4 hours out so I am just thinking of dropping out and copping the financial penalty. Like, it’s just not worth it, if this is the subject that brings the GPA under 6.5 I’d just regret not dropping it.
THE OBITER: I really…
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: I’m fucked.
THE OBITER: Yeah you said that.
LOUD GIRL FROM THE LAW LIBRARY WHO, JUST SECONDS AGO, SAID SHE HASN’T EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE 20% ASSIGNMENT DUE IN ONE WEEK: I just wish I’d done an easy degree. Like med or the defence force…
THE OBITER: Shut the fuck up. Like genuinely shut up. You have the crusiest fucking life, you work like one day a month, your GPA is higher than the number of books George RR Martin has finished, you are fucking fine! So shut up for one second. Yeah, so shut your fucking stupid mouths. Chatting bare fucking shit. Shut the fuck up, shut your fucking mouth. Oi rudeboy, shut up. One time yeah, chatting bare fucking shit. Shut up, man. Pussy, what?
That loud girl from the Law Library who, just seconds ago, said she hasn’t even had a chance to look at the 20% assignment due in one week resigns. ‘That’s How You Know You Messed Up’ by Nico & Vinz plays.
The Obiter dabs.