In an unprecedented development, International Women’s Day has been cancelled. Our political analysts explain how one game of netball has reversed thousands of years of societal oppression.

For years, uncomfortable questions have been directed towards VP Sport candidates at Law Society AGM’s regarding the lack of participation from girls in the Suri Ratnapala cup cricket match. Benjamin Funnell’s UQLS career never fully recovered from a barrage of gender‑related questions at the 2020 AGM, and Will Garske’s only answer was to make himself a small target by holding as few events as possible.

Enter Angus Watson in 2023, and the UQLS’ large female cohort expected little change. “Oh great, another private school jock with a massive ego”, said one critic from the LS Office couch. “Ah yes, I am sure this Grammar Old Boy and Western Civ major will care about anything other than office beers”, came the reply.

But when news broke that Angus would introduce a Students v Profession netball game last Sunday, everything changed. As 10 girls took the Court, the very raison d'être of International Women’s Day’s began to unravel. 50 women were promoted to Partnership at top tier law firms. 80 were promoted to senior judicial positions. And the Queensland Bar Association announced a comprehensively funded parental leave policy for female barristers.

“Yeah so I set up this netball game for my CV really but it turns out I just ended sexism”, explained Watson in the LS Office, five beers deep.

No more to come.