[Editor’s note: Thanks to James’ penchant for creative manipulation of the English language, the original text of our interview was basically indecipherable to anyone who hasn’t spent 17 years of their life in cricket changerooms. Accordingly, we have added translations for clarity where necessary]
Obiter: James! Thank you for sitting down with us today ahead of the big game Sunday.
James Finnimore: No worries, brah.
O: Now, to start with, can we get a sense of how the boys are feeling?
JF: Well, I think all the boys have that 2018 Triple J Hottest 100 kind of feel about them. Been putting in a lot of work in Brooklyn, so hopefully we’ve got a couple Edmond Sumner’s, a couple David Duke’s in us.
[The winning song in 2018’s Hottest 100 was ‘Confidence’ – James here means the student team is feeling confident for the game. The NBA team based in Brooklyn is the Nets – ergo, the student team has been hard at work in the nets. Edmond Sumner is a player for the Nets who wears the number 4, while David Duke Jr wears 6 – the student team is poised to hit boundaries on Sunday]
O: And how is the weather report for Sunday shaping up?
JF: Reports are the old Heung-Min’ll be out, it’ll be an absolute Jason. Reckon that might favour us young bucks – fair chance the older lads among the Profession side have Harveys getting about in the heat. You know, sure we’ll feel a bit of Haas in the bacon and eggs running between the wickets, but hopefully we’ll be able to outlast them.
[References here in order are: Tottenham star Son Heung-Min, meaning ‘the sun will be out’; golfer Jason Day, meaning it’ll be a ‘day for it’, slang for a beautiful sunny day; Harvey Norman’s practice of interest-free shopping, meaning ‘the Profession side will have zero interest getting about in the heat’; and finally, the combination of Broncos prop Payne Haas, and bacon and eggs as Cockney rhyming slang for legs, meaning ‘sure we’ll feel a bit of pain in the legs running between the wickets’]
O: Let’s go to you personally for a second – how are you feeling ahead of the game?
JF: I’m hearing the pitch is a bit of an Ike & Tina [a turner], so hopefully I’ll get into the game a bit with the ball. Create a couple of Kyrgios’s [nicks], get De Gea involved [Manchester United goalkeeper David De Gea – here a reference to Student XI wicketkeeper.] Would love to get Josh Hallikos or Dom Katter – would be absolute Charlie’s [Charlie Sheen’s, here meaning ‘would be absolute scenes’] if I can snag one of those poles. Won’t bowl too many overs though, will toss the ball to some of the young fellas – call me Marcus Rashford. [Manchester United star Rashford famously spearheads a campaign against youth hunger – here, James is saying he doesn’t intend to let the first-year players, the ‘youth’ of the team, go hungry in terms of wicket-taking chances]
O: Well, that’s just about all we have time for. Thanks for your time, and good luck for Sunday!
JF: No worries, brah. Make sure to get down on Sunday to see UQ Field 9 turn bloooooooooooo! [even I’m not really sure what that means in this context. Like, it’s a reference to the common refrain of Everton FC supporters that ‘Liverpool is blue’, but I have zero clue how it makes sense here specifically. Maybe it’s just a thing he likes saying I guess?]