1. Dirty Dancing (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Really enjoyed the movie but never particularly listened to the soundtrack. Couple of hits on there, we’re sure, but it’s difficult to see how it remotely influenced our taste in music, or life, in any way.

2. To Pimp A Butterfly

A controversial one here. King Kunta was good but have never listened to it otherwise. Just not a fan of rap, it’s a bit too uncultured. ‘I went to the shop/I shop ‘till I drop/Buying fruit and veg/For my mate Greg.’ Yeah, good lyrics, King Kenny, try again.

3. My mate’s debut EP

Yeah, whilst I told him it was good and he deserved a round of applause for the effort in recording it, this had absolutely zero bearing on my life. Like, the songs are fine, but I’ve never been a natural fan of lo-fi bedroom indie pop, and the fact a guy I went to school with is making it doesn’t change my mind. Zero impact on my life whatsoever.

4. The Fabulous Johnny Cash

Never listened to it, hard to see how it affected my life.

5. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Thought this was going to be The Wizard Of Oz soundtrack, but somehow, it wasn’t at all. I don’t know who let their candle in the wind, but that’s a pretty surefire way of it being snuffed out. Try again. Couldn’t have had less impact on my life.

6. Some experimental spoken-word album

This came to me in a dream and I hated it. Couldn’t even remember the name of it.

7. Flower Boy

I thought this was going to be a sensitive, raw look at Toowoomba’s flower festival, and a raw examination of life in rural Queensland. Alas, it was more rap. ‘Tyler the Creator.’ Stupid name. There’s only one Creator. The Lord.

8. Unknown Pleasures

It’s not that Joy Division are bad per se, I’ve just never heard a song that isn’t Love Will Tear Us Apart. And that’s not even on this album. No impact whatsoever.

9. Salad Days

My ex-girlfriend told me this will ‘change your life.’ The only thing it changed was my opinion of her. Mediocre lo-fi trash. This Canadian buys one tremolo pedal and a Stratocaster and reckons he’s the next Leonard Cohen or some shit. Complete lack of impact.

10. The Ultimate Dinner Party Album

Mum had this in her CD collection growing up, but I always thought it sucked. Never listened to it either. Physically impossible for this collection of tunes to have an influence or impact on my life.