In an attempt to reach net zero emissions by 2030, and tackle the ever-debilitating fuel prices, the federal government today has announced that the coat of arms animal will be Australia’s newest public transport fixture.

Minister for Transport and Main Roads, Mark Bailey, has announced that the exciting new ‘Roo-ber’ initiative has been inspired by a culmination of astronomical petrol prices and ignorant American folklore.

Surprisingly, according to initial testing, the wild animal transport method has been clinically proven as 110% safer than e-scooters and ubers, and 90% less sporadic than road cyclist. The Federal Government has begun assisting this transition, pouring $400 million into kangaroo farms, and generously allocating an additional $400 billion into the ‘bum-blister ointment’ private sector.

This novel move has caused much discourse in the public transport sector, with other nations keen to follow.

It is rumoured later this week Elon Musk will announce another animal inspired service, ‘Deer-di’ , in the United States of America. It is predicted that as of next week, all school age students will be taught how to speak ‘skippy’ – a highly time efficient method of kangaroo communication- to ensure this is a seamless transition.

While wearing helmets aren’t required for kangaroos, the Brisbane City Council has announced that a southern cross tattoo and thongs are a must.