‘It hasn’t been since MJ and Harvey Weinstein were around that we have felt that this city is so clearly the deserving winner of this great honour,’ the Cornell Institute of Rankings declared in a public statement.
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Knowing that Hollywood is a place free from repercussions for anything, Will Smith - in front of an audience of millions - has today walked onto stage at the Oscars and given an old-fashioned beat down to fellow Hollywood star, Chris Rock, after Rock cracked a funny about Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith.
Smith, who bizarrely didn’t provide a response to our emails for comment, was later in the evening then presented with the Best Actor in a Leading Role award, using his acceptance speech to effectively say, ‘I didn’t do nufin wrong’.
The Cornell Institute of Rankings has been quick to now move to present the city the Hollywood with the 'Most Liveable City For Famous People Get Away With Assault' Award, a title that the city has now held for the 19th consecutive year (Washington DC taking it home in 2003 for obvious reasons).
‘Hollywood continues to impress us with their response to Will Smith slapping someone in broad daylight - it hasn’t been since MJ and Harvey Weinstein were around that we have felt that this city is so clearly the deserving winner of this great honour,’ the Institute declared in a public statement.
‘Yeah, but he was good in that movie about those tennis players!’ Will Smith’s lawyers submitted to the Hollywood District Court, hoping to have their client’s assault charge dismissed on the grounds of ‘money’.
Smith is rumoured to have now commenced production of the blockbuster sequel: ‘The Pursuit of Slappyness’.