Oh yeah. That’s right. Lean back. Relax. You about to read about the Qantas Dreeeeamlineeeeer. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

The arrival of the Qantas Dreamliner has creamed the short shorts of the aviation world.

She’s sleek. She’s bold. She’s got two fuck off engines and long, slender wings. She’s a Dreamliner and she knows what she wants and she wants it now.

She wants to fly.

Girl, you know you’re soaring when that Dreamliner licks the runway. Oh yeah you taxi down that tarmac, grinding to the take off.

Dreamliner stops in her tracks, almost daring you to buy her a drink. She winks at the control tower. It’s her turn. It’s always her turn.

Qantas Dreamliner breathes in. Qantas Dreamliner breathes out. And then she takes it off.

Oooooooh yeeaaaaaahhhh faster, faster, faster OH YES! Liftoff.

Qantas Dreamliner seduces her way into the blue balls sky, sultry and sexy as she nibbles on the thinning atmosphere.

You don’t get flying like this with a Boeing. You ain’t ever had a journey like this before.

A cloud wakes up and sees her coming. A playful high-five and cheeky spank for the Dreamliner as she goes higher, riding and riding the wind, back and forth, back and forth.

The majestic, sensual and ever so deep journey into the sexy sky continues. The inflight movie is Ant-Man and The Wasp. The meal is Jatz. This is it. Now you know - you’re fucking the sky.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Go Dreamliner go! Go Qantas! This is the spirit of Australia! Red kangaroo! Alan Joyce ! Alaaaaaannnnn Joooooyce I’d take a creampie on my face to vote yes for you too! YESSSSSSSS DREAMLINER!!!!

The seatbelt sign just got off.

You roll over in your economy seat, hair ruffled. You light a cigarette. You’re told by a flight attendant that you’re not allowed to do that. You bum your cigarette. You a pay a sizeable fine. It’s all pillow talk.

Arrivals. You could say that again.

Thank you, Dreamliner. Thank you for the ride of a lifetime.

Until next weekend, Dreamliner. Dream on.