Tragic scenes today, as Lord Drake of Toronto remains in an extremely saddened mood about a two-week delay in carrier pigeon messages from a fair maiden he is endeavouring to woo.
Previously, the pigeons were flying thick and fast, as Lord Drake (also known as Drizzy, Drake of Aubrey, or the Degrassi Baron) commenced a whirlwind courtship with a young lady from the neighbouring kingdom of Los Angeles. The Obiter understands Drake had grown to expect at least one carrier pigeon message every three days, if not more.
But then, the pigeons stopped coming. And with each passing day from the most recent reply, the heart of our noble Lord grows more pained with anguish.
His wails from the highest towers have been ringing all around the kingdom, and he has been writing a strange rhythmic poetry regarding his confusion about the maiden’s lack of replies.
“Our love was like a burning flame,
This fair maiden, I daren’t speak her name,
I only loved my bed, my kingdom, and her,
I am a Lord, she makes me feel like a Sir,
But these lack of replies make my soul grow weary,
This parchment is getting stained, why am I so teary.”
The above lyrics have been nigh-inescapable for anyone within range of Lord Drake’s ramblings, which if you have Spotify or Apple Music, includes you.
Let us hope, for our sake, he can reach some stability in relationships, and we shall be spared from future gripes.