When Peter Dutton stepped into his local Event Cinema to see Avengers: Endgame, he never anticipated that he’d be brought to tears. It all started as an attempt to experience what his psychologist described as ‘fun,’ which he believed would make him more personable which in turn would win votes.

As the movie started and Tony Stark made a desperate and emotional recording, Peter’s emotions lay dormant. As the tsunami of relief flowed over the rest of the cinema when the ship was rescued against all odds, Mr Dutton felt nothing.

It wasn’t until the remaining Avengers invaded the farmhouse home of a retired Thanos and murdered him in cold blood that Mr Dutton finally felt. And felt he did.

Peter sat convulsing as competing feelings of grief, anger and despair flowed through his veins. It was ‘all too real,’ he thought.

‘Endgame is an allegory for the plight of the white farmers in South Africa.’

The Russo brothers had attempted to hide this message, casting purple-skinned Josh Brolin in the role of Thanos - an attempt to throw viewers off the scent. But upon hearing about the affect the message had on the Member for Dickson, the directors smiled knowingly.

‘We knew we had to do something truly special to evoke any emotion from a man who can stare into the souls of malnourished refugee children and feel nothing. We knew we had to bring the message close to his heart.’

Outside the cinema Mr Dutton could be heard muttering something about increasing security on Manus Island and finding the Time Stone.

As Endgame was the final instalment of the Infinity Saga, there will be no more to come.