Here at The Obiter, we get it - life is pretty tough for students (you can say that again!). Between 12 contact hours and looking for phone chargers, it’s a mystery that students even manage to get by! But easily the biggest stress for embattled students is the oldest problem in the book (the cheque book that is): money!
If you’re a student reading this saying “…money? What is this foreign word?” we hear you, sister. Luckily, The Obiter has discovered a money hack that will make life a lot easier for UQ students: the UQ Union Rewards card.
The UQ Union Rewards Card offers 10% discounts at all Union outlets on campus. The card costs $25. “What!?” we hear you yell into your smartphone. “Twenty-five whole buckaroos? Why would I spend that on a stupid card when I can spend it on a car or something?” Well, don’t stop reading. Money hack incoming.
Upon purchase of the UQU Rewards Card, here’s what to do next: walk your sweet ass down to the UQ Lolly Shop. Then, grab yourself no less than 5000 strawberry clouds. You with us? Now, head to the register and slam your red-dusted loot onto the damn counter so hard that the pimple-poked dicklord attendant sharts all over his little dumb apron.
“5000 clouds please G’uvna,” you say. The attendant will tell you some outlandish price - but what do we say to that price? “Not today!”
You whip that UQU Rewards Card out of your money belt with all the force and power of the Holy Spirit. The attendant will shred 10% and this is where the hack comes to life: clouds go for 5c a pop. 5000 will set you back $250. 10% off = $225. The difference? Ladies and gentlemen, $25.
Yep, you read that right, Jordan Belfort. You have just saved $25 and made your money back. Plus, you’ve got 5000 little puffs of crimson, sugary glory to show for it.
With this Obiter exclusive hack, you’re effectively making money. Move over Tom Tilley, because you might as well be hosting Triple J ‘Hack,’ with this sort of manoeuvre. You’re Jason Hackermanis fighting on Hacksaw Ridge with your comrade and star of School Of Rock, Hack Hack.
So yeah, money can be tight. But with this sort of hack you’ll be swimming in a pool of money, and clouds, in no time at all. Welcome to Strawberry Cloud 9!