Shocking scenes emerging from the heart of Brisbane today, as the tumultuous political tide has given way to the destruction of one of the most treasured statutes in Queensland.
A group of ‘Blues Lives Matter’ protestors, arriving by the busloads from south of the border, and wearing Blues jerseys with Mark Gasnier’s name on them (weirdly enough) set up shop in front of Suncorp and set about trying to tear down the iconic statute of Wally Lewis.
Lewis, as a Maroons playmaker, lock forward, and captain, was responsible for terrorizing the Blues over a number of years, in conjunction with his little mate and maestro, Alfie Langer. This history of crushing victories and heartbreaking NSW defeats will not be easily forgotten, and in the social media age, constant highlights of Lewis running over the top of hapless NSW defenders before feeding the ball to a bullocking Meninga has stirred the anger of disenfranchised Blues supporters.
All this tension has led to the remarkable scenes outside of Suncorp this morning, as the Sydney-based protestors have struggled in vain to knock down the statute of Wally, which as it turns out, is genuinely made of solid gold.
‘Yeah, we thought it was just some sort of bronze coating,’ said one of the leading anti-Lewis advocates, Schnathan Schleary, wearing some sort of hideous fake moustache.
‘Turns out the Queensland Government was actually happy to put millions of dollars of taxpayer money towards a genuinely solid gold statue of a very good rugby league player.’
As the Blues Lives Matter group grew increasingly frustrated, their attention turned toward the statue of first Queensland captain, and brilliant footballer of Indigenous heritage, Arthur Beetson, before deciding it might send the ‘wrong message’ to tear down the statue of that legend of the game.
‘Yeah, we’re definitely losing the PR battle on that front,’ shared Schmad Schittler.
At press time, Josh Dugan was somewhere on the roof of Lefty’s drinking a cruiser, while FOX League prepared to run ‘Saturday Night Live with Gorden Tallis.’
No more to come.