The UQ Union has responded to calls to express support for the Black Lives Matter movement, opting to sit on its hands, shout into the air and pretend nothing is happening.

Despite the Union representing hundreds of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students, members of the executive decided that any statement would be divisive, especially in the LNP offices where they hope to spend the rest of their lives. Also, it would be, like, a lot of effort, y’know?

Shying away from ‘radical’ anti-discrimination, the Union pledged to continue devoting all of its resources to barrister’s fees, premium fleshlights and gluten free pancake batter.

The only UQ Union representative brave enough to enter the fire thus far? Famed warrior for equality Barclay McGain, who conducted a 90 minute interview with Semper today, largely discussing police brutality.

McGain quickly came to the defence of his beloved union, who he claims have been misinterpreted.

“It’s not that we don’t care about black people, it’s just that we don’t give a fuck about anything at all” said McGain.

Words to live by.