It was finally here, the biggest night on the Law School calendar, and a chance for female law students to get smashed and tell each other how much they have always admired one another.

“I’m not even going to drink that much,” said Chelsea Smith (22) on the morning of the Ball, “I have to write my civil case note tomorrow.”

But before long, Chelsea was 5 mimosas deep and things were getting a little OuT oF coNTroL.

“It started when she saw this guy she had a massive crush on in first year,” a source close to Chelsea told the Obiter.

“They’ve never spoken but she asked him where he got his bow tie and what mark he got in trusts.”

“Then we couldn’t find her for like, an hour, until we realised she was in the bathroom with a girl whose boyfriend had dumped her that night. She didn’t know the girl or guy, but Chelsea was telling her she deserved better.”

Chelsea was later spotted on the dance floor screaming “PLAY WAP” when there was no DJ and the music was just a Spotify playlist.

Chelsea then attached herself to an anonymous girl who she had sat with once in Torts, telling her she really appreciated her friendship and that she was the most beautiful woman in the room. The two where then spotted absolutely hogging the photobooth.

“She won’t rest until she’s stopped literally every girl in a Bec & Bridge dress to tell her she’s a queen,” Chelsea’s friend informs us. “Oh shit her tits just came out, I have to go.”

More to come.