Frank Green has recently unveiled that they will be releasing a 50L water bottle at a press conference late this morning.
“They say go big or go home,” said Frank Green (53), CEO and founder of the company, “and I’m not fucking going home.”
The company revealed that the demand for obscenely heavy and obnoxious water bottles has skyrocketed in the last few years.
“Bitches be thirsty I guess,” said Frank.
The research and development team explained that they used metal from a timpani drum to make sure the new bottle makes as much noise as possible when slammed on a desk.
A few lucky loyal customers known as “Frank Heads” got to wheel out prototypes.
“It’s amazing!” said law student Rebecca Holmes (21), “Now I don’t have to fill up my water bottle for about 25 days at a time, the perfect and most reasonable amount of time between filling up a water bottle.”
Rumours have already started spreading that Frank Green is going to expand into the water tank game.
More to come.