The arrival of Meghan Markle’s first son has been met with fanfare around the world. However, not all is as it seems.

Sources from within Buckingham Palace have reported that Ms Markle’s son is in truth the first born son of Prince Harry.

‘He’s never been a bastard,’ James Corden, who recently became the Three-Eyed Raving and can carpool karaoke through all of time, whispered to himself as he figured out the truth.

‘He’s seventh in line to the throne of England.’

Ms Markle suffered some loss of blood during the child’s birth, which took place in the Tower of London. Her brother Ned Markle, after shiving some chavs, ran upstairs to find his dying sister and her child.

‘You have to protect him,’ the Suits star cried. ‘Mike Ross thinks Prince Harry stole me. But I love him.’

‘Promise me, Ned. Promise me. His name is Mohammed Windsor.’

‘Wait what?’ Ned was understandably thrown. But, a man of honour, he took baby Mo and raised him as his own bastard, promising to one day tell him the truth of his upbringing.

And that’s what happens when you play the game of Suits: you win or you lose.