Amidst the storms of controversy over the Hong Kong protests on the UQ campus, media outlets have been tripping over themselves to find a scorching hot take on the simple story of a group of students protesting an oppressive regime.

Local ruffian, rascal, and Mandela-esque figure, Drew Pavlou, has even found himself invited into the welcoming arms of Andrew Bolt, and the less welcoming arms of Tony Jones, as media organisations wake up to the fact that, wow, the influence of the Chinese government is actually ‘news.’

However, one organisation has bravely stood out from the pack. One gutsy team of writers, in a move reminiscent of the bravery displayed by the journalists in Spotlight, have decided to refrain from commenting until they have all the facts.

That team is The Obiter.

The radio silence from The Obiter, however, will today be broken. The fact that one of our own had a violent encounter with pro-CCP activist, Shane Webcke, at the protest, and we still remained silent, is nothing short of heinous.

But today, we’ll break that silence. By admitting we still don’t know where Hong Kong is.

We’ve genuinely been trying so hard, we’ve downloaded lots of different maps, and an unnamed sex addict (and crucial team member) even went to the effort of buying us a globe so we could finally crack the case. But to no avail.

We’re really struggling to formulate a joke or opinion on this issue in any meaningful way, given the core task of knowing where it is has yet to be achieved. At best, we know that ‘Hong Kong’ is two words that rhyme, and beyond that, we’re flying blind (except for the fact that Peter Hoj clearly has issues because he copped it at primary school for his deranged last name).

Help us out if you can, by sharing any knowledge you may have on the Hong Kong situation. Otherwise, go on with your day, safe in the knowledge that our knowledge is simply pathetic.

No more to come.