‘Bro, she’s absolutely cuckoo. Like, I can’t even begin to explain how crazy she’s been,’ stated Bryson Frizell (24), a real estate representative for Ray White, and Coorparoo local.

Bryson’s relationship with his girlfriend, Lara, has been shaky for some time, with Bryson’s patented blend of laziness and arrogance slowly beginning to rub Lara the wrong way.

If Bryson’s words were to be believed, he is currently living a bizarre blend of Shutter Island and One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, wherein his girlfriend has truly lost her mind, and is torturing him every day with her brand of insanity.

However, outside observers have comfortably concluded that Bryson isn’t dating a ‘deranged psycho,’ and in fact, her complaints about the relationship are pretty reasonable. These complaints include ‘wash your sheets more than twice a year,’ ‘shower more than twice a week,’ and ‘try to remember my birthday, please.’

Nevertheless, any attempt to open a reasonable, mature discussion about issues within the relationship have been met with blank stares from Bryson, and his hushed mutterings of ‘chill out.’

Whilst he describes her as a ‘crazy bitch’ to his friends, our intimate interviews with a handful of Bryson’s mates suggest their picture is radically different.

‘Yeah, she honestly seems fine. Wasn’t crazy about Captain America: Civil War, which is a shame, but she’s definitely not this loose cannon that he’s cracked her up to be,’ stated David Markey, with his twin brother, Michael Markey, suggesting that ‘...she’s actually delightful.’

Ah well, in matters like this, who can you really believe?

No more to come.