The realities of the modern world make many early works of science fiction seem primitive. Yet fiction doesn’t always get it right, sometimes we dare to transform these crazy concepts into a reality but fall so desperately short that we are left wondering whether we should have even tried.
I’m talking in particular about smart watches.
The imagination of the entire world was captured when the much anticipated Spy Kids 2 leapt onto our screens in 2002. Critics were stunned, asking questions like ‘Who gave this movie the greenlight?’, ‘Will Danny Trejo’s career ever recover?’ or most importantly, ‘Dang, I wonder when we’ll be able to get our hands on one of those fancy watches!’
Oh boy, those watches were something. Total communications centre, those babies will give you everything you need, except tell the time.
What’s that I hear you ask, they won’t tell the time?
That’s right, not only were these watches cutting-edge, they were rebellious, sexy and left you wanting more.
You could take these bad boys tell hell and back, push them to their limits and all they’d ask is simply ‘Is that it? Is that all you’ve got?’
If only they had stayed in the realm of fiction. I cast my mind back to April 2014, sitting in-front of the TV with my Lite’N’Easy microwavable meal in my lap as I listened to Tim Cook unveil the Apple Watch. I trembled with excitement as I imagined myself, a real life action hero, ready to take on the world, augmented by the machine on my wrist.
Never have I felt more betrayed.
The disappointment that now hangs limply from my wrist is a far cry from the spy watch Machete (Danny Trejo) handed to Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara). There are no holograms, no lasers, no sex appeal!. It actually tells the time, a sort of nerdy brother to its rebellious conceptual It tells me to stand up every hour (not very spy like) and I have to take it off during exams.
Perhaps none had higher hopes for the smart watch than Daryl Sabara. He dreamt of the day he could wield a smart watch as powerful as the one he helped bring to life in 2002. But alas there are no holograms, just a reminder to pick up more batteries for Meghan Trainor’s vibrator.