While the entire PIL cohort anxiously await the results from their 50% mid semester essay, interesting allegations from the profession have started to emerge. Reports indicate that lawyers who graduated over thirty years ago are still yet to receive their results and individual feedback.

In an interview, John McGrammar, a senior partner in a top tier firm confirmed that he gave up trying to contact the course coordinator about his essay over a decade ago.

‘They’re under a fair bit of pressure, these academics, it must be tough.’

Our reports indicate that public international lawyers are not bound by traditional deadlines due to a loophole. That they public international law is not in fact real law. Our field reporter caught up with Brian Lara (lecturer in Public International Law, no relation to the famous Test cricketer with a great average and an even greater smile) and Rain Liivoja who were enjoying appletinis in the pool bar at the Naviti Resort Fiji.

‘The thing that these students don’t understand is that it takes a substantial amount of time skim and moderate these essays,’ Brian Lara explained between sips of his creamy beverage.

‘Ya ya, you can’t rush these things, I’m still getting my head around opinio juris as it is,’ interjected Rain.

Conspiracy theorists have surfaced, claiming that the old assignments were never marked and Rain actually uses the paper as insulation in the walls of his house when it gets too warm and/or too cold.

‘At the end of the day, knowing your marks isn’t going to change how you perform on the exam so you can stop emailing me,’ added Rain.

Hopefully more to come - for the farmers’ sake.