‘Who’s this good-looking young thirty-year-old?’ he claims.

He’s a master of his craft.

It’s a scene everyone has seen before. A recently divorced woman from Jindalee, who invited her equally uncouth fellow compatriots out for a night on the piss has fallen in love with the young man behind the bar, who is doing exactly what any self-respecting, horny young man in his position would do.

‘Well you’re a kind young gentleman,’ slurred the horrendously intoxicated 50-something, swooning over the vaguely spotty, teenage bartender.

Despite him not even being alive to watch the 1995 Pride and Prejudice mini-series, Karen Murray (52) feels like she is staring into the eyes of Colin Firth in all his wet-shirted glory, following the well executed compliment by one Jack McDonald (19).

But the fanny-flutters don’t stop there!

McDonald tactfully deploys yet another missile by refusing to let Murray pay for her drink, telling her that ‘this one’s on the house… happy birthday darl (sic).’

Despite having no interest in romantically pursuing the enamoured geriatric, McDonald admits it would be ‘pretty sick banter,’ to be able to tell all his mates he shagged a woman old enough to be his mother.

And it’d be even sicker if Karen turned out to be, like, one of his mate’s aunts or something.

More to cum.