This is such bullshit. And it’s insane the media isn’t talking about it. I, Jason Wetherington, twelve years old, am the only one brave enough to come out and say it loud to the people of Australia.

Chris Lilley’s new character sucks. He sucks dick and balls.

I don’t know why the mass media is refusing to cancel him for it, but he’s been playing the role for at least three months now and hasn’t shown any signs of stopping.

This whole character of ‘Mum’s New Boyfriend’ is pretty weird, if we’re being honest. It doesn’t reach the hilarious heights of the super-gay drama guy, Mr G, or the subtle and nuanced racial commentary of African-American artist ‘S. Mouse.’ Instead, this miscellaneous character of ‘Chris’ seems more concerned with having sex with my Mum and sitting around the house than making any sort of biting satirical point.

And also, it’s such a crazy name for a character. His name is already Chris Lilley! Why would he call the ‘Mum’s Dickhead Boyfriend/My New Dad’ character ‘Chris’ as well! It’s just confusing.

And while I had a lot of time for Jonah’s antics, particularly in the modern masterpiece Jonah From Tonga, the title of which was instrumental in clarifying his confusing heritage, I don’t have quite as much appreciation for the comedic art of constantly calling me ‘champ’ and asking me to call him ‘Dad.’

Um, I already have a Dad? He’s just really busy, and has lots of friends that he has to see a lot?

Fuck off, Chris Lilley. I don’t get the character in the slightest.

And Mum, is it alright if Sacha Baron Playingakid comes over for dinner tonight? He’s this new Year 6 who just started at Mt Grovesnor’s, and he’s really tall, so maybe we can play basketball before fish fingers for dinner (please).

No more to come.