In a move that has shocked international political analysts and second-year university students with passionate opinions and too much time on their hands, noted right-wing fascists, Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini, have decided to leave the Facebook group ‘UQ Politics Society 3.0’.
In a joint press release released by Facebook live video at 4pm today, the two former leaders stated that the choice was a difficult one, but one that was spurred by ‘...a genuinely shocking amount of bigotry, racism and anti-semitism,' being pedalled in the form of Facebook polls and arguments in comments sections of the group.
‘Yeah it was disappointing when the first and second versions of the UQPS went down, but the third iteration has just proved too much for me to handle - I can’t believe the level of hate some people are capable of,’ said literal Hitler.
When asked for his response to comments in the group such as ‘I support Nazi social policy’ and members calling people ‘...left wing middle class soy latte lovers’ and ‘Winnie the Jew,’ Mussolini shook his head, only able to utter a solemn ‘mamma mia,’ whilst feasting on spaghetti, red wine, and the bitter taste of a failed fascist state.
We were quite shocked by Hitler and Mussolini’s decision to leave, so we conducted some investigations of our owns. We found the group’s administrators have made some attempts to ban members and delete comments, but polls asking ‘Are more women choosing celibacy and lesbianism because men are less masculine?’ and comments stating ‘Please! No transgenders in my bathroom, thanks,’ simply proved just a ‘bit too much’ for der Fürher and the Il Duce.
‘We can only hope for a future where UQ students can discuss political issues without fear of being called ‘cucks’ or being asked for double-blind, peer-reviewed, ideologically-neutral, aggressively-cited studies backing up any opinion,’ the press release reads, ‘...but at the moment this feels like a pipe dream.’
Reports indicate that since leaving the group, both Hitler and Mussolini have been in discussions with Fox News about a potential morning chat show, in their more moderate segment. After all, some have argued Hitler was actually a left-wing socialist - what could bring more diversity to the Fox News lineup?