Breathtaking. Simply breathtaking. Those were the thoughts running through the minds of lucky onlookers as local ‘enfant terrible,’ Tyson McGray (7), engaged in one of the most slick, powerful examples of comic treachery: the humble whoopee cushion.

It was obvious to all comers that Tyson was a man in complete control of his craft as he deftly slipped the inflatable cushion under the rocking chair of his eighty-nine-year-old Grandmother, who is also known as ‘Nan,’ or on particularly intense bingo nights, ‘Slayer.’

And he took his art to the next level by managing to stifle his nigh-uncontrollable giggles with the incredibly classy move of using his Ben 10 T-shirt to cover his oral cavity (‘mouth’ to normies), the source of the laughter.

The surrounding audience, admittedly assembled primarily of Tyson’s friends and family, started to shake and laugh with uncontrollable mirth, as Tyson’s brilliance had fostered the undeniable implication that Nan had just committed the great faux pas of passing wind in a public forum.

Just like a master craftsman, a true professional, Tyson did not immediately take credit for his masterpiece, despite how easy it would be for him to simply raise his hand and state ‘It was me. I am the golden geese.’

No, our intrepid young man would wait until his eagerly gathered cousins were hanging on his every word, like those who listened to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, to reveal himself as the architect of fake-fart-related chaos.

What a true master at work. And if this is his level now, one can scarcely begin to imagine the plane to which he might ascend, with able support and encouragement.

One day, he might even be so brave to try a ‘double dacking,’ the eternally funny process by which someone’s shorts and undies are yanked down, revealing a doodle floating carelessly, aimlessly in the wind.

More to come on this rapidly developing story about a rapidly developing young man.