Frustrations are spilling over this week amongst the acquaintances of second year Arts/Law student Rob Murray (20), whose self-described ‘farewell tour’ continues despite the desperate pleas of its participants.

While spirits remained high for a period, the endless stream of karaoke nights and ‘quiet ones’ at various Brisbane pubs, throughout which Murray imposed an 8 schooner minimum, have taken their toll. According to Murray’s close friend Henry Cairns, the situation has reached breaking point.

“If I have to watch that guy eat yet another ‘one last parmy’ I am going to fucking lose it.”

The departing youth is set to arrive in the UK in a week, but send-offs have allegedly been raging on for almost a month. So intense is his enthusiasm, according to close friends he has offered the floor of his dorm to a number of peripheral acquaintances who were unlucky enough to trigger his seemingly pre-prepared monologue about ‘cultural immersion’. The offerees are yet to make genuine steps to take up this enticing opportunity.

When reached for comment, Murray was quick to preach the virtues of a self-reliant and culturally explorative lifestyle, and quite frankly, this publication agrees with him.

We wish him the best of luck doing pills in Leeds.