‘Jesus Christ,’ thought UQ Law lecturer Ryan Catterwell, whilst watching the UQ Law Revue’s traditional staff sketch.

‘They’re Us.’

Clearly traumatised by Jordan Peele’s latest horror film, in which demonic doppelgangers pursue their likeness, Dr. Catterwell was said to be ‘yelping and whimpering throughout the entire staff sketch,’ according to witnesses present.

‘It’s like he actually thought it was some sort of clone up there,’ Lee Aitken told The Obiter in confidence.

‘It was clearly Dugald Graham in an unbuttoned shirt, making some fairly cheap sex jokes.’

But Ryan was not to be calmed by reason or the simple fact that the actor jumping around on a desk and singing ‘Sex Bomb’ was partaking in a fairly cheap imitation.

‘It’s Us,’ he cried to a understandably irritated Schonell as the Revue Catterwell did the worm to the tune of ‘I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt,’ before removing his crisp white Oxford button-up.

‘He’s come to kill me!’

Despite his distress, Catterwell did take the time to note to The Obiter that the clone was ‘one sublimely thicc daddy.’

More to come.