In some sort of sick joke, ice breakers are continuing into Week Six, as 80% of students are still yet to say a word during tutorials. The flavour of this week has been asking students the timeless question of ‘If you could have dinner with anyone from history alive or dead, who would you choose?’
A collective groan could be heard from both the POLS1201 classroom and the afterlife.
Winston Churchill, who was enjoying a cigar during his daily poker game with Gandhi and Mother Theresa, as Nelson Mandela stood outside hoping he’d get invited, rolled his eyes in anticipation of some spotty 19-year-old summoning him for a lame Sunday roast with some boring dead economist.
‘You know what old chap, after guiding Britain through the Second World War, the Mau Mau Uprising and the Korean War, I’d hoped that afterlife would carry a bit more grandeur than being idolised by first year political science students who read my speeches in Year 9 SOSE,’ sighed ‘Winnie’ to his unlikely bedfellows.
‘I couldn’t agree more, I’m famous for my hunger strike and they’re inviting me to dinner? Honestly fuck off, what are we even going to talk about over a chicken kiev?’ replied an agitated Mahatma Gandhi.
Sure enough, as the collective boredom of the tutorial turned to 19-year-old Ben Jeffries, he confidently exclaimed that he would have dinner with Winston Churchill. Despite a general ignorance towards Sir Churchill’s feats and controversies, the fact that Churchill mentioned going to the beach in a famous speech really resonated with Ben, who loved spending summer at his Grandma’s Perigian beach house.
As expected, this was met with absolutely no response, save from an unenthusiastic ‘thank you, Ben,’ from the tutor who was now really regretting starting her Masters.
Next up was Josh, who after spending his childhood in Rose Bay, had been sent to King’s College by his parents for a rural experience.
‘Mine would be the boys from Bondi, ‘cause I’m a diehard Eastern suburbs boy and those boys suck piss, so it would be a good time.’
Hopefully more from Josh, like requesting John Maynard Keynes or some other endlessly fascinating intellectual.