Exciting news for passionate fans of competitive sport on Sunday, as British export Tyson Fury has won a resounding victory over Alabama’s Deontay Wilder in the World Championships of ‘Terrific Names For A Gay Porn Star.’
Whilst many viewers of the ceremony were surprised to learn that both Fury and Wilder were actually boxers, few were surprised that their names were comfortably in the top five, with the finalist’s category being rounded out by classic gay porn names such as Lance Hardwood, Johnny Rapid, and Rocco Steele.
However, Fury was able to overcome ‘stiff’ competition (good one!) to walk away triumphant, which in conjunction with his boxing victory or something, should make for a great weekend.
It is worth noting that Fury won the title via split decision, with judges torn between Fury himself and young up-and-comer, Kurt Lockwood, before a ‘technical knockout’ handed Fury the victory. A ‘technical knockout’ in the ‘Fantastic Gay Porn Names’ awards is where the audience unanimously votes one name the best, and hence, his likeable appeal and all-round good bloke charisma ensured that Fury had the audience eating out of the palm of his hand.
And that was that. He walked away with an Oscar.
Hosted in, bizarrely, Darwin, the ‘Terrific Names For A Gay Porn Star’ award is one of the most hotly-contested trophies in the pornographic industry, as receiving an ‘Oscar’ is an indicator of professional recognition of success at all levels.
Intriguingly enough, the award is named the ‘Oscar,’ after its original winner, 1942’s Oscar Dicks. Whilst gay porn names, and in fact, all porn names, have come quite a distance since 1942, the ceremony always takes some time to acknowledge past victors, and few have been more influential since the ‘Thunderschlong from Oklahoma,’ Oscar Dicks.
More to come on this brilliant subculture.