‘World domination?! More like Wordle domination, haha!’ the Dobby-the-Elf lookalike exclaimed, after one of his top aides queried why he’d suddenly lost interest in taking over the world and all that.
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It’s out with the dictator and in with the dictionary, as Russian President, Vladimir Putin, once again puts all 5’7” of himself into today's New York Times Wordle, having becoming completely addicted to the game last week.
In a shocking display of idiocy, Putin has already exhausted his first five attempts with the words, “WITCH”, “FROGS”, “MOODY”, “GHOST” and “SPELL.”
Now on his sixth and final attempt, the little house elf is struggling to figure out the tricky letter combo: “S, Q, U, something, B.”
Putin rejected his best buddy’s, Vladislav Kroshnvaskikzizaralq’s, recommendation to, ‘play the odds and try another vowel,’ leaving Putin pretty much fucked. Silly Putin. Game tactics clearly are not his thing.
‘Zis is too hard!’ Putin told the Obiter, nearly on the verge of tears.
With the clock ticking and tomorrow’s Wordle fast approaching, Putin downed half a dozen vodka shots to really get the brain juices flowing. In an attempt to assist, the Obiter team offered Putin a crash course in English language and human decency, but he (unsurprisingly) declined.
Will Putin be able to come up with the one correct letter in the next six hours? Or will he go down in history as being a complete dumbo.
Watch this space.