Jaws hit the floor across UQ this evening as the Annual ‘Change Your Profile Picture To Your StuPol Ticket’ Event began, revealing to the stunned voting public that, somehow, it is entirely possible to transition from being a law hack to a StuPol hack. As Steven Evans (21), a Churchie Old Boy, Hamilton resident, and Law student announced his candidacy for Treasurer of the UQ Union, his peers in the Law School have reacted with utter disbelief.
‘I just don’t understand how some nerd who has had his sights on power and influence commensurate with Daddy’s since first-year Contracts could have run for the position of Treasurer in the Union,’ shared one shocked classmate, Sara Watson (23).
‘I remember overhearing him talking him about his OP before Russell Hinchy told him to shut the fuck up in Foundations,’ an anonymous source informed The Obiter, before filling up their S’well with black coffee in an attempt to finish Advanced Research in time.
Whilst critics have stated that it is entirely unsurprising that the pursuit of power in the classroom, social circles, and student societies could ultimately result in pursuing higher office among students, others have responded with derision.
‘No-one could actually want to do StuPol. This must be the work of a pretty full-on Imperius curse,’ said one nerd who needs to read another book.
Steven Evans’ comments on his fresh Facebook profile picture are littered with the words of fellow Law, Commerce, and BAFE students, ready to secure further electoral victories for the forces of capital, a trend since time immemorial.
When Steven himself was asked for comment, all he could sum up was ‘Wow. I can’t wait to see what you do for the University, king!’ When pressed, he seemed to be saying this about himself.
It’s unsurprising that so many Law students have followed in the footsteps of the ‘Reverse Hack’ Katie Andersson, who started with a career in StuPol before returning to Law.
Cool chick!
Nevertheless, as election season heats up, and Law students start being a lot nicer to each other on Zoom calls, one question remains etched in the minds of a concerned public.
Why is this the thing you most want to do with your time?
No more to come.