This Saturday, Brisvegas will head to the polls to determine which twenty-odd people will get to sit around a desk and choose which shade of green they want the traffic lights to be (lime vs shamrock), which streets they want to rename, how much they want to increase parking fines by and what buildings they want to build and/or knock down at 5.30am every week next door to you, among other objectively meaningless things.

Sadly, no one gives a single fuck.

Reports suggest that there won’t even be democracy sausages to justify the 8-minute walk down the street.

This complete indifference from the whole of Brisbane is particularly prevalent now, at a time when people are hesitant to leave their homes for all but essential activities. Me taking my fourth poopoo break at work is more essential than this election.

Yet, compulsory voting means we all have to show up or face the threat of a $133 fine.

After the Queensland Police Service recently announced that RBTs would shutdown immediately and indefinitely, you would’ve thought they might turn a blind eye if we just ceebs it on Saturday.

But no, you can bet your bottom dollar that if you don’t vote for 1 of the 4 former UQ Union hacks on your ballot you’ll do some unneeded damage to that already fucked bank account.

More to come.