In stunning news coming out of the St Lucia campus this morning, it has become apparent to political commentators and students alike that an obvious Law nerd has decided to run in the ‘President Jock’ category for the leadership of the UQLS.

The category, begun by Ewan Raeside and made famous by two-time-silver-medallist Omar Hardtowin, has never successfully placed a candidate of their own in the Presidency. The role has traditionally been reserved for mooting nerds and lightweights who tell you they’re going to ‘change the culture of the UQLS’ while doing absolutely nothing of the sort.

But this year, things are different. There’s a new breeze. A nerd is finally running in the President Jock category.

A lot of things define a President Jock. The consistent failure to win elections, for one. The belief that playing two games in the Suri Ratnapala Cup constitutes a well-rounded involvement with the UQLS. And of course, the all-important requirement that they be an upstanding graduate from Grammar, Churchie, or Terrace.

But for whatever reason, Ben Funnell is built different. And we’re not talking about his freakishly lanky frame (get a load of ‘Stretch’ Funnell over here!)

It’s the fact that he’s very clearly a nerd trying to hide something. You can just see him slapping all the boys on the back as he walks up to deliver his Presidential address, trembling as he feels his glasses and Newton’s Cradle rubbing against each other in his pockets.

You can just tell that the guy has done mooting. You can just tell that he laughs about ‘how little I’ve studied,’ but then turns around and gets more 7s than he hits on at Friday’s on a Saturday (if only the 8s would listen to that awesome story about Josh Halikos!)

In short, we have a peacock. A rare first. An obvious nerd running to be President of the Jocks.

But maybe, just maybe - he’ll be the President for all of us.

Leave nothing out on the field, mate - there’s a winning sports metaphor for you