In a somewhat surprising speech to the AAP this morning, Scott Morrison has suggested that religious schools, specifically Catholic primary schools, have powers greater than merely the ability to hire and fire teachers on the basis of sexual orientation.

‘Nah, the report says it’s legal. Under God’s law. The true law,’ said the Prime Minister, revealing his fundamental misunderstanding of the relationship between Commonwealth legislation and an omnipotent being of divinity.

Apparently, in the eyes of ScoMo, Catholic primary schools can fire anyone they choose if they dislike their sexual orientation - including the Prime Minister.

‘Yep, their powers are actually profoundly unrelated to the school itself. As a spiritual entity, religious schools have broad oversight over every single job in the land - including the most important one. Mine!’ said Morrison at the press conference.

‘Some might say it’s discriminatory to fire people on the basis of their sexual orientation. In response, I quote a Biblical passage: let he who is without sin fire the first Gay. A classic passage, everyone! Am I right?’

The slightly unhinged conference then took a turn for the truly bizarre, as Morrison continued to spew prejudicial vitriol whilst ‘I Don’t Know How To Love Him’ from Jesus Christ Superstar played over the loudspeakers, before John Farnham walked out to sing the song live.

We’re sure stranger things have happened recently. I watched Stranger Things Season 2 last night, and that was absolutely jam-packed with stranger things! But this one was pretty strange.

Probably more to come.