Second-year LLB student, and certifiable cuck, Kirsty Watson (19), has really eaten shit this week.

As her colleagues attested to The Obiter, in a series of sit down interviews (in chairs!), Ms Watson spent a good chunk of Week 1 telling anyone who’d listen that she was foregoing her days of Microsoft Word and adapting the practice of handwriting her notes.

According to Ms Watson, ‘it’s the only way it sinks in.’ She reportedly spent upward of $35 on bedazzled pens and designer notebooks from Kikki K, the popular stationery chain (not to be confused with the KKK, an American white supremacy group that, whilst awful, are not quite as racist).

In the first lectures of the semester, Ms Watson made an ‘absolute fucking song and dance’ about her pen-led enlightenment.

‘She’s prancing about like fucking Hemingway because she purchased a pacer,’ fumed beleaguered acquaintance of Ms Watson Lucy Nicholls.

‘She told my group that our eyes would be permanently damaged from the laptop blue light. It’s a fucking joke.’

However, despite her proclamations of educational ascendancy on the grounds of a Smiggle rubber, witnesses report that Ms Watson (again: cuck) has been forced to undergo an embarrassing retreat on her position.

‘She pulled out a MacBook in fucking Week 3 as if she’d never said anything,’ a now grey-haired Ms Nicholls screamed.

‘Like, are you kidding?!’

At press time, Ms Watson had yet to comment on the fact that she was spotted with 11 tabs open in a Crim lecture, all of them Gorman.

More to Krum.