As if he was expecting a real answer, a local creep and eternal hanger-on has today backed himself into a new corner by asking a female acquaintance the much-dreaded question of ‘where’s my hug?’

Taron Davidson (23), a first-year finance graduate with a tight-fitting shirt and a reputation for being a terrible bloke to be stuck in a conversation with, doesn’t seem to have a true appreciation for just how bothersome people find him. And stories of his drunkenly dickheadish behaviour around female friends don’t help.

So this makes it all the more confusing when he throws himself to the lions by asking the question ‘where’s my hug’ to Lara Rushdie (24), knowing full well it’s pretty much rhetorical at this point. Your hug is not coming any time soon, Taron, and it’s worth coming to grips with that fact.

Even Taron’s friends, who are often known to needlessly defend the man, admit it was a tough thing to watch.

‘She said hey to a few of us, and then started walking to the bar,’ said Dave Swellows, a fellow finance grad, describing the shocking scenes witnessed.

‘And Taron made a really bizarre point of inquiring about his lack of hug. It was fucking tough viewing, and I’ve seen a water birth,’ suggested Dave, offering absolutely zero further explanation for that one.

In future, Taron will hopefully pull his head in, but if history is any indicator, we don’t think we’ll be seeing any notable change in his actions until he’s forced to one day ask his wife why she won’t hug him any more.

Depressing.

No more to come.