An incredible effort by The Obiter’s investigative team has revealed a secret which will shock Hollywood to its very core. A secret which promises to upend the delicate ecosystem of Harry Potter films.

Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban was actually filmed in front of a live studio audience. The reason no-one ever noticed? The audience was dead silent for the whole film, as it turns out they were just really, really bored by the film.

There’s so much to unpack here that we scarcely know where to begin. For one, The Prisoner of Azkaban is arguably one of the best Harry Potter films, blending darker elements and comedic relief with ease, introducing key characters, all of which was deftly,masterfully captured by Alfonso Cuaron behind the camera.

But none of this was good enough for a studio audience that neither laughed, nor cried, nor gave any reaction whatsoever.

Generally, studio audiences are encouraged to laugh, or react in any way, by production assistants. They seemingly went completely missing for all of the 184-day shoot.

When Hermione punched Draco right in the kisser? Crickets. The sound of silence. Guess they would’ve preferred seeing Shurldon pull a Bazango on The Big Bang Theory.

When Dumbledore informed the gang that a time turner would be able to rectify the difficult situation they found themselves in? No reaction whatsoever. They somehow managed to find the most difficult to impress people in the UK, put them in one room, and then subsequently fail to impress them.

The experiment didn’t last particularly long, as the studio audience was abandoned for the next film, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

No more to come.